


Misconceptions

by kaithartic (bluedreaming), tinybitsoflight (bluedreaming)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:16:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/kaithartic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/tinybitsoflight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Afraid that he and his boyfriend Jongdae are drifting apart, Lu Han tries to spice things up.</p><p>Warnings: non-non-graphic descriptions of sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misconceptions

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the [Chenandluhan](http://chenandluhan.livejournal.com/2251.html) exchange.
> 
> Firstly, thanks so much to the mods for being understanding in the face of health issues. Secondly, a massive apology to my recipient; I'm really sorry if I totally butchered your delightful prompts ― they were sadly outside my poor restricted repertoire and so I'm afraid I couldn't do them justice. Thirdly, thanks to A who is the reason this story happened at all, beta-ing despite your own nightmare of a week. Thanks also to A for helping me process the prompt into something I could write ― you are entirely blameless for the outcome. And last but not least, thanks to tlist for being with me and of course a certain person who should admit to loving asparagus. I love you anyway.

Lu Han can't remember the last time they had sex.

Jongdae is so busy now - he's running from project to project and Lu Han knows he loves the adrenaline but he still feels abandoned, going to sleep alone between cold sheets, dreaming of phantom cuddles and a warm breath whispering "I love you" in his ear but when he turns over to wake up — the early morning light hits his face starkly and he's alone again, staring out at a day that has come too soon.

He goes to the kitchen as usual, drinking the coffee that Jongdae made earlier and kept warm for him in the thermos, nibbles on the bread Jongdae likes to make in the evening when he needs to wind down from the flurry of work, sits at the table that Jongdae painted last year as an anniversary present. There are vines and roses on the table legs; he doesn't like flowers much but he loves the table.

_Beep beep_

He checks his phone: _Have a great day at work and always remember that I love you!_ is Jongdae's daily message.

He would feel loved, and he does, but he also feels like a habit. An old habit. And old habits are easily replaced. _I'm afraid that one day Jongdae will wake up and realize he's fallen out of love with me._

He empties the dishwasher and puts everything away before putting in his breakfast dishes, Jongdae will run it at the end of the day before he goes to sleep, and turns on the washer/dryer. His jacket that got wet yesterday in the rain is dry and hanging on the closet, he stops to breathe in the comforting smell of lavender detergent.

It's a nice day, not threatening rain, and the birds are chirping to their hatchlings in their spring nests as he walks to work. Lu Han owns a rare book store. He likes the smell of old books and the smiles of the people who wander in, greeted with a steaming cup of coffee or tea or hot cocoa. He doesn't get many walk-in customers; most things get bought and sold online nowadays and he could really cut back his store hours but he doesn't. _I like the people too much._

The only customer he gets that morning is the older gentleman who likes to sit in the winged chair in the history nook and read Aristotle, and the young woman who often comes to check out Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf. This gives him lots of time to worry as he sorts through the online orders, locates and readies some volumes for shipping, and earmarks a couple more that are up for auction.

But it's when he stumbles across an ornate copy of the Kama Sutra that an idea starts to form in his mind.

  
☆彡

 

 _Hi love!_  
I tried to stay awake but even the fifth expresso didn't help - I'm really sorry. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd have time on Friday for something special - I feel like we're seeing less of each other than we used to and that worries me. I hope you can find the time!

The note on the table, beside an empty expresso cup, has been signed with a small but detailed drawing of a deer.

Jongdae smiles, thinking about it over coffee break. Of course he'll make the time. The truth is, he's been missing Lu Han too, and there's something he needs to ask him.

  
☆彡

 

_Of course! I'll come home for six o'clock then?_

Lu Han can't help but feel excited at the prospect - they're finally going to do something about the widening gap he feels threatening their relationship. He takes a long soak in the bathtub, indulging in the bath salts that Jongdae had given him for Valentine's Day. Smelling like jasmine and vanilla, he towels off and crawls between the silk sheets, thinking about his boyfriend — _warm skin and his soft fingers to fill the hole beneath his ribs_ —

"I'm home!" Jondgae sounds extra cheerful today, whistling an airy tune as he shuts the front door with a soft click and hangs up his jacket; it's been too long since Lu Han has been awake to hear these familiar comforting sounds but they add harmony to the song.

He runs his fingers over the smoothness of the fabric, sliding the sheet seductively down one hip just as Jongdae walks into the bedroom. _He'll take one look and —_

But he doesn't. Jongdae is smiling brightly; the brightness flickers for a moment when he sees that Lu Han is in bed — _why? what are you thinking?_ but he sets down his bag and turns to the closet.

"You're such a sleepy-head," he laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners. "What do you want to wear?"

Lu Han doesn't know what to do anymore.

  
☆彡

 

Jongdae is esctatic that he actually managed to leave the office early like he'd planned; he's used to errands on the way and last minute emergency calls but his phone is off today and he'll face the music tomorrow. _They'll probably have figured it out by themselves by then anyway._ He needs to start prying himself away from work more, especially with what he's planning tonight —

Lu Han's lying in bed and he's not wearing anything. Jongdae swallows _not right now though how I wish..._ He gulps and readjusts his smile.

Lu Han seems confused when he asks which restaurant they are going to and his face, shadowed by the lattices of the streetlights as they're driving, looks pale.

_I hope he's not sick._

But he smiles when Jongdae holds the door open for him and pretends to kick him — _old habits die hard_ — and they argue over the menu again, Lu Han voting for steak tenderloin with potatoes au gratin, buttered baby carrots and a delicate bernaise sauce, while Jongdae is more of a pasta person.

"I can make that at home," Lu Han sniffs at the pasta list and Jongdae pretends to sulk but inside he's beaming. Lu Han is so gorgeous in the dim light of the restaurant; his golden hair flickering with memories of the sun. _I forgot how much I've missed this, which is why —_

  
☆彡

 

It's almost like old times at the restaurant, bickering and falling into old patterns but the doubts still hang in the back of his head; the times Jongdae swallows or looks uncomfortable, the way he frowns when Lu Han talks about cooking. _I haven't cooked in so long._

Jongdae is too gorgeous in a white shirt and grey tie and he can see the waitress tracing his body with her eyes every time she comes to top up their glasses. The wine is a little too dry and the crimson rises to his head.

Jongdae's face is shadowed by the pillar next to them and Lu Han can't make out his expression. He thinks about all the times they haven't talked, haven't sat next to each other, haven't slept in the bed at the same time.

Jongdae opens his mouth and Lu Han doesn't want to hear it. He says it first.

"You want to break up." It wasn't meant to be a question but his voice shakes at the end and slips up an octave.

Jongdae doesn't say anything. Lu Han breathes out sadly.

"You probably met someone..." He thinks about all the times Jongdae only got home when he was already sleeping after realizing that waiting was useless.

And then the man sitting across from him explodes.

  
☆彡

 

Lu Han closes his mouth and Jongdae forgets how to breathe. _What?_

His boyfriend is too bright, the chandelier dropping cracks of light over his face as he sits across from Jongdae. He almost thinks he imagined it; the words that shouldn't be spoken. Can't be spoken. _Why are you taking the words out of my mouth and turning them inside out?_

And then Lu Han opens his mouth again and it's too much.

"You probably met someone..."

_YES. I MET YOU._

Jongdae feels like he's exploded; he can't see straight and everything is too sharp, too loud and Lu Han is the centre of his universe.

_How can you even for a moment think that?_

There's a whirlwind of faces and apologies and the burning of Lu Han's hand in his as Jongdae leaves the restaurant because he's lost his appetite and Lu Han never had one to begin with. They get to the car, black in the dimness of the underground parking lot, and Jongdae spins to face his boyfriend, losing his grip on the soft fingers that slip out of his grasp.

Lu Han is standing in the dark, expectant in every wrong sense of the word, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows.

"Don't ever dare think that I'm capable of leaving you!" His voice echoes through the silence and Lu Han's eyelids quiver, making the lattice of shadows on his cheeks shiver and his lips part and Jongdae's tired of always telling himself no. _No, he's sleeping, no, he's hungry, no, he's tired._

_Yes._

His mouth is swallowing Lu Han's lips before his brain has time to finish the thought; he's tracing the dips in his boyfriend's collarbones with fingertips ghosting across the skin and dreading the chance that Lu Han might say _n—_

"Yes," he whispers and Jongdae moans into his mouth.

There are too many buttons and zippers and knots and they have just enough presence of mind to move to the car because even though it's early for a Friday night, people still break up and throw rings at each other and leave in separate cars and it is a public parking lot. The windows of the car are tinted. It will have to be enough.

Jongdae fumbles with the slippery mother of pearl fastenings of Lu Han's shirt, cursing fashion, while Lu Han wrestles Jongdae's tie over his head, the sharp tugs sending lines of fire directly down to his groin; he bites his bottom lip white and yanks the last button right off, the tiny plink as it bounces off the dashboard drowned out by the sighs of fabric crumpling as Lu Han helps him out of his pants. He aches already and his underwear is too tight but he reaches out for Lu Han instead, the soft gasp as his fingers meet the flushed skin and wrap around the length... and he's missed this so much, the way Lu Han's eyelashes flutter and pink paints his cheeks as his breathing skips and he chokes out a whimper as Jongdae dips his thumb into the cleft at the top and runs his tongue over his ribs, prodding the soft skin and grazing teeth over bone.

His other fingers creep around and trace that soft pucker of skin; he slides down to take Lu Han into his mouth, moaning at the soft texture over his tongue, the fullness as it hits the back of his throat — the groan this time is real, fingernails sharp on his back as Lu Han's eyes roll back in his head and he collapses into a sigh, painting the backrest of the seat white; Jongdae swerves but some still ends up in his hair and on his cheek — it's warm against the skin and he smiles, tousling his hand through his hair.

 

The windows are fogging but no one's paying attention to that.

There's a panicked moment when Jongdae can't remember if there's any lube in the car but Lu Han only kicks him with a still-twitching foot — _Oh right, it's in the glove compartment_ — and there's a mad scramble over the gearshift to fumble open the door, papers falling onto the floor which can be dealt with in the morning because right now he's flipping open the top and messing up his hands as he accidentally squirts out half the bottle, Lu Han jerking at his wrist but finally — his finger skips in and there's a broken moan as he traces the soft folds inside, working his way down Lu Han's body with his mouth so he can nibble at the insides of his thighs, slowly working another finger in. It's been a long time and Lu Han's really tight; Jongdae groans but he's not going to lose control — he remembers _Lu Han fucking him into the sofa cushions and the excruciating stretch just this side of pain, moaning in ecstasy but facing the consequences in the morning_ — Lu Han bumps his shoulder with his knee but Jongdae only pushes his boyfriend's knees farther apart, such a pretty gasping picture splayed on the black leather of the back seat, and he dips down to run his tongue around the fluttering edge; Lu Han makes a choking noise in the back of his throat and flails his arms weakly as Jongdae adds another finger, scissoring them until he hits that bundle of nerves that has the beautiful mess of a man arching off the seat, rapid breathing reaching a keening pitch; he uses his other hand to slick himself up before giving Lu Han another soft suck and pulling himself back up his body to sink in with groan — he's so hard it hurts and he can barely hold himself still, legs trembling as he distracts himself by burying his face in Lu Han's delicate neck, sucking his vibrating throat as he slowly begins to move.

It takes a moment to find the right angle; he knows Lu Han's body like Lu Han knows his, where to touch and where to tease and how to coax that beautiful keening out of his boyfriend's throat, but they've never been desperate enough for car sex before and the leather is slippery from earlier; Jongdae is just starting to get frustrated when he hits the right spot: Lu Han's toes curl in and the air rushing out over his vocal chords hums violently as Jongdae slams into him over and over again, always that same place and it's been too long. Lu Han is moaning and Jongdae throws his head back and counts the stars on the ceiling of the parking lot before collapsing back down in a boneless heap.

  
☆彡

 

"I guess you still love me?" Lu Han's voice is hoarse and his lips are deliciously swollen but there's still the faintest doubting lurking at the bottom of his chest —

"I was going to ask you to marry me tonight, until you decided to have a relationship breakdown," Jongdae says dryly, slipping a narrow gold band onto Lu Han's finger. Lu Han only stares at him — _You? What?_

He can't find the words but Jongdae elbows him in the ribs, a startled but firm "yes" falling out of his mouth.

His fiancé smiles, hair a complete disaster and something sticky on his face, but he's the most beautiful person in the world.

Even though he just ruined the leather upholstery.

  
☆彡

 

Jongdae comes home earlier now and Lu Han cooks sometimes when he feels like experimenting in the kitchen but other times they order Thai or Vietnamese or Italian and let the food cool on the table — Jongdae found Lu Han's copy of the Kama Sutra tucked into the nightstand and they've been using it as a conversation starter these evenings.

They've also switched to Egyptian cotton sheets because they're easier to launder.


End file.
